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justanothercarelessshipper:

randomhumanrambling:

Mother fucking dick balls…  oh how I want to nom on this…

mmmm im so making this tomorrow…

(Source: jessicabellinger)

posted:1 year ago, 132666 notes
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bonesmakenoise:

theweepingtimelord:

Lembas Bread (Lord of the Rings “authentic” Elvish bread)

Ingredients: 

 2 ½ cups of flour
1 tablespoon of baking powder
¼ teaspoon of salt
½ cup of butter
1/3 cup of brown sugar
1 teaspoon of cinnamon
½ teaspoon honey
2/3 cup of heavy whipping cream
½ teaspoon of vanilla

Directions:

Preheat oven to 425F. Mix the flour, baking powder and salt into a large bowl. Add the butter and mix with a well till fine granules (easiest way is with an electric mixer). Then add the sugar and cinnamon, and mix them thoroughly.

Finally add the cream, honey, and vanilla and stir them in with a fork until a nice, thick dough forms.

Roll the dough out about 1/2 in thickness. Cut out 3-inch squares and transfer the dough to a cookie sheet.Criss-cross each square from corner-to-corner with a knife, lightly (not cutting through the dough).

Bake for about 12 minutes or more (depending on the thickness of the bread) until it is set and lightly golden.

***Let cool completely before eating, this bread tastes better room temperature and dry. Also for more flavor you can add more cinnamon or other spices***

as someone who has baked these A LOT

They are REALLY GOOD

and I am reblogging this because I KEEP LOSING MY RECIPE 

posted:1 year ago, 176765 notes
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posted:1 year ago, 1028 notes
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thehuckleberry:

Just found THIS AWESOME LIST of 34 recipes requiring only 2 ingredients and pretty basic instructions. Some are fantastic alone, and some inspire other basic recipes. Had to share this with you guys.

posted:1 year ago, 64415 notes
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posted:1 year ago, 102 notes
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thepartyrehab:

Pumpkin Pie Milkshakes.
Ingredients & Measurements:
2 cups Vanilla Ice Cream
1/2 cup Milk
1/4 cup Cream or Half & Half
1 Tbsp Vanilla Extract
2/3 cup Pureed Pumpkin
1/2 Tbsp Pumpkin Pie Spice
1/3 Cup Graham Cracker Crumbs
2-3 oz. Bourbon
Frosting & Sprinkles
Instructions:Add all ingredients to a blender until mixed well. Rim glasses with a very light coating of frosting and dip in sprinkles. Pour the shake into the cup and sprinkle cinnamon on top. Top with whipped cream if you want & enjoy!

thepartyrehab:

Pumpkin Pie Milkshakes.

Ingredients & Measurements:

  • 2 cups Vanilla Ice Cream
  • 1/2 cup Milk
  • 1/4 cup Cream or Half & Half
  • 1 Tbsp Vanilla Extract
  • 2/3 cup Pureed Pumpkin
  • 1/2 Tbsp Pumpkin Pie Spice
  • 1/3 Cup Graham Cracker Crumbs
  • 2-3 oz. Bourbon
  • Frosting & Sprinkles

Instructions:
Add all ingredients to a blender until mixed well. Rim glasses with a very light coating of frosting and dip in sprinkles. Pour the shake into the cup and sprinkle cinnamon on top. Top with whipped cream if you want & enjoy!

(Source: itspartyrehab)

posted:1 year ago, 43235 notes
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buckybird:

hythe:

APPLE PIE COOKIES

What’s better than a holiday dessert? Taking two holiday favorites and combining them into one! I adore apple pie, and snickerdoodles are my favorite cookie, so I thought, “Why not both? Yes, both. Both is good.”

This is a very easy recipe to follow, and the result is delicious! These are perfect for a Thanksgiving or Christmas dessert; you can make them in any shape you want, and, really, you can switch the apple pie filling out for your favorite pie instead!

Please note: I designed the cookie dough to not be very sweet, as the pie filling has enough sweetness to make up for it. If it tastes a little bland on its own as opposed to what you’re used to, don’t panic! It’s made to pair nicely with the filling. (You’ll also notice the absence of cinnamon in the dough recipe; again, that’s due to how much is in the filling.)

Snickerdoodle Cookie Dough

  • 1 3/4 cup all-purpose flour
  • 1/4 cup cornstarch
  • 1 tsp baking powder
  • 1 stick (4 oz) vegan margarine, softened
  • 3/4 cup sugar
  • 1/4 cup vanilla soy milk
  • 1 tsp vanilla extract

1. Whisk together flour, cornstarch, and baking powder in bowl.
2. Beat margarine in separate bowl with electric mixer until soft.
3. Add sugar, and beat until fluffy.
4. Beat in soy milk and vanilla extract for 30 seconds or until smooth.
5. Add flour mixture and beat 30 seconds or until smooth.
6. Divide dough in half and refrigerate for 2-3 hours.

Apple Pie Filling

  • 1/2 cup packed light brown sugar
  • 2 tsp all-purpose flour
  • 1 tsp ground cinnamon
  • 3 medium tart apples, peeled and grated/chopped [*When we made these yesterday, Sarah diced them into tiny, tiny cubes - I recommend using that technique!]
  • 3/4 cup water

7. In a small saucepan, combine the filling ingredients.
8. Cook over medium heat until apples are softened and mixture is thickened.
9. Set aside, let cool.

10. On a lightly-floured surface, roll out eat portion of dough to 1/8” thickness.
11. Cut with a floured cookie cutter (round, square, heart, etc). [*We used a shell shape because it was either that or a reindeer.]
12. Place 2 inches apart on greased baking sheets.
13. Spread with 1-2 tsp of filling to within 1/4” of edge at most.
14. Top with another cutout; seal edges by crimping with fork tongs.
15. Cut slits in top of cookies with knife or fork tip.
16. Bake at 375 degrees for ~17 minutes or until lightly browned. Remove to wax paper to cool completely. Sprinkle with cinnamon sugar, if desired.

Yield: approx. 15-20 cookies

WHAT WHAT WHAT

posted:1 year ago, 185 notes
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◢ OH MY GOD IT’S A CLASSY AS HELL RECIPE

areyoutryingtodeduceme:

ADMIT IT, YOU GUYS MISSED MY SHOUTY RECIPES LIKE MAD, DIDN’T YOU? But man, just have been swamped this month for some reason, and that generally leaves little time for cooking even the trashiest of meals. Plus, since I bought my own ~*~wheels~*~ I now have the power to go get whatever food I want, whenever I want, instead of having to scrounge for things I can make with the stuff in the kitchen. FREEDOM.

ANYWAY. Tonight I made…. get ready for it…. DONUT-MISU. That is mother-effin’ tiramisu, but instead of using boring as hell lady fingers, you use DONUTS. Because DONUTS AND COFFEE BELONG TOGETHER. There’s some slightly fancy-ass cooking involved here, so pay attention kids.

  • We are going to construct a double boiler for people that don’t live with their moms or work in fancy-ass bakeries. Basically you want to get a sauce pan and fill it with a couple of inches of water. Then get a metal or glass mixing bowl that will fit over the sauce pan without touching the water. OH MY GOD I AM THE WORST EXPLAINER, LOOK HERE’S A YOUTUBES. WOW, THANKS LADY, GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR FUDGE.
  • Okay. So. If you didn’t watch the video, you want to get the water in the sauce pan to a low simmer. While you do that, whisk together 3 egg yolks, 1/3 cup sugar, and 1/4 Marsala Wine in your glass or metal bowl(Amaretto would be good too. I’m sure you could also leave out the wine or find some sort of flavor substitute, but if you can, ADD THE WINE. It is classy as FUCK, plus you can get a bottle of Marsala wine for like $5 at most grocery stores and you can use the left overs to make Chicken or Veal Marsala and impress the pants off of a date or your parents or even a pet.)
  • Place the bowl of eggs/sugar/wine over your simmering water to create your double boiler. NOW YOU HAVE TO KEEP WHISKING YOUR EGG MIXTURE. CONSTANTLY. DO NOT, WHATEVER YOU DO, STOP WHISKING. YOU WILL HAVE A BOWL OF REALLY WEIRD TASTING SCRAMBLED EGGS IF YOU STOP WHISKING.
  • Whisk for about 6-8 minutes. Eventually, it will turn thick and pale yellow. You’ll know it’s time to stop whisking if, when you pull the whisk out of the mix, it trails back down into the bowl and folds on itself like a ribbon. We in the culinary biz call this the ‘ribbon stage’. Look at you, all fancy with your culinary terms. Use that to impress your Marsala Chicken date


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posted:1 year ago, 209 notes